I can remember waking up early as a child, slipping out of bed, and quietly making my way down the stairs. If I could hear the chatter of voices and the clinking of dishes, I’d head to the kitchen, where I knew I’d find my mom packing lunches and at least one of my siblings sitting at the breakfast table with a bowl of cereal or a piece of toast. But if the house was silent, my footsteps on the creaking floor boards the only noise, I’d head to the living room instead. There, my mom would be sitting in the red rocking chair, reading her Bible or devotional, or perhaps praying in silence. 

It’s only now that I’m an adult with young children myself that I can truly appreciate what a feat it was for my mom to consistently, predictably, and faithfully wake up every morning an hour before us children to begin her day with Scripture, prayer, and silence. I have no doubt that this practice is in part what made my mom the steady, patient, loving and selfless parent – and daughter, sister, wife, friend, and neighbor – that she was. She nourished her interior life in such a way that she was able to give abundantly to the myriad people in her life. What a gift for all of us. 

Even as I see the fruits of my mom’s practice, I have yet to succeed for any length of time in awakening and praying before my children busily start their days. Six years into my parenting journey, I can recall a few stretches of weeks or months when I managed to sneak downstairs while they were still warmly nestled in their beds, but I can remember just as many times when my tiptoeing still resulted in one of them awakening (if only their listening were always so sharp!) and following me to the living room, almost immediately requesting breakfast, stories, or cuddles. I’m not one to begrudge snuggles on the couch with a toddler – indeed, I love this chapter of life! – but I’ll be frank in saying that knowing the likelihood of my quiet morning hours being interrupted disincentivizes me from getting out of my own warm bed and sleepy fog any earlier than absolutely necessary!

Parenthood, it’s safe to say, has made it difficult for me to create a consistent prayer routine. Then again, so have other aspects of life. My work outside the home means that I can’t use my children’s nap or quiet time to have some of my own, and my social life and various volunteer commitments mean that my evening availability is irregular as well. 

I’m not making excuses – I firmly believe that there is always time for the things that we prioritize – but I am acknowledging the challenges inherent in creating a steady prayer routine when you have an active life filled with moving pieces. 

It’s with that understanding that I’m sharing today a few ideas and tips that can help to you navigate building a prayer routine during a busy chapter of life (or any chapter of life, for that matter!). 

Combine a prayer practice with another daily habit 

My sister visited my family a few months ago, and when she observed my four- and five-year-olds brushing their teeth in a very rushed manner, she suggested to them that they sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in their heads while they brush, ensuring that their teeth get the cleaning attention they deserve. Since then, I’ve been delighted to watch them take turns brushing and sing Twinkle Twinkle to each other as a sort of time keeping sisterly service. Suffice it to say, this particular nursery rhyme is a much bigger part of our lives now than it was a year ago. Why not use the same strategy, then, but for a prayer? You could go with the Our Father, Hail Mary, or Sucipe, or you could pray extemporaneously. 

Plan your prayer time in advance 

I mentioned above my belief that there is always time for the things that we prioritize. I stand by this, but I do get confused by the fact that I prioritize prayer but still have a hard time making it a consistent-as-the-sunrise part of my life. Why is that? I think the problem – for me at least – is that I mentally and emotionally prioritize prayer, but I don’t necessarily plan for it. I think that because I care about it a lot, it will happen naturally… but, well, it doesn’t necessarily. It’s sort of like being in touch with loved ones. I can tell you that my siblings are some of the most important people in my life, whom I both love wholeheartedly and enjoy thoroughly, but months will go by without me talking to my brother who lives several states away from me. It’s not for lack of care, but for lack of planning. 

I think about the people in my life who are training for marathons, and how they plan out their running dates, times and mileages a few weeks or months in advance. Maybe the same sort of behavior is needed for prayer. If you sense that this might be the case for you, this prayer planning kit could be a huge help.

Try something different 

Perhaps because my own mom’s spiritual practice was a morning one, I’ve gotten in my head that morning is the time for a prayer routine. It starts the day off on the right foot, it can be paired with a cup of coffee, and my thinking is most clear at that time of day. The fact is, while I would love to have a morning prayer routine free of interruptions and unencumbered by the temptation to sleep in just a little longer, I don’t think that’s in the cards for me at this phase of life. And that's okay. Maybe my preference is for a morning prayer routine, but maybe a lunchtime or evening one is what works for this phase of life. I love praying the daily examen, and it’s a prayer that works especially well at the end of a day. 

Whenever, wherever, and however you choose to pray during this season of life, I hope that it is in a way that nurtures your soul and grows your faith. The seeds that grow are the ones that we water.